Some Words I Wish You Heard More Often
Thank you for struggling.
Thank you. Thank you for crying so hard that your tears and snot and drool all pool into the tissue. Thank you for the objects you have thrown at the wall. Thank you for the days that you have gotten out of bed, and the days you’ve slept through to stay safe. Thank you for the shallow breath that sustains you when you’re absolutely numb. Thank you for the crap food you eat because it takes so little effort to prepare. Thank you for surfing the Internet, when it’s less “surfing” and more “dead man’s float.” Thank you for the times you spend on autopilot. For the times when you check-in. Thank you for screaming — and sobbing — so hard that the words you are screaming and sobbing out do not make an ounce of sense. Thank you for going to sleep when waking up is not something you are sure of. Thank you for your cries for attention. For your vague, unsettling status updates. For the e-mails you send when you don’t trust your voice to function. For your mistakes. For your unsettling drawings and your emo poetry, for your journal and the music blaring from your headphones. For how hard you try when no one — yourself included — thinks you are trying.
Thank you for still being alive.